Friday Fun

The weekend is almost here. Today I thought I'd post a few things to make you smile.

A Cat's Diary

DAY 752 -- My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

DAY 761 -- Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs.
In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair...must try this on their bed.

DAY 762 -- Slept all day so that I could annoy my captors with sleep depriving, incessant pleas for food at ungodly hours of the night.

DAY 765 -- Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was... Hmmm. Not working according to plan......

DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.

DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer." More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage....

DAY 774 -- I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dogs are routinely released and seem more than happy to return. They are obviously half-wits. The Birds, on the other hand, have got to be informants. They have mastered their frightful tongue (something akin to mole speak) and the birds speak with them regularly. I am certain they report my every move. Due to their current placement in the metal room their safety is assured.

But I can wait, it is only a matter of time.

What Kind of Muffin Are You?

http://www.blogthings.com/whatkindofmuffinareyouquiz/

You Are a Blueberry Muffin
You are a nurturing, domestic, homey person.
Of all the types, you are the most likely to make your own muffins at home.
You don't like to rock the boat, and you're most content when you're making everyone else happy.
You are very loyal. You'll defend your family and friends, even if you secretly disapprove of what they're doing.
You tend to be a bit shy and withdrawn. You don't make friends quickly or easily.
But once you do make a good friend, the chances are high that you'll be friends for life.

George, Jack and Simon were at a conference together in Chicago and they were sharing a large suite on the top of a 75 story sky scraper. After a long day of meetings they were upset to hear that the lifts in their hotel were broken and they would have to climb 75 flights of stairs to get to their room.
George said to Jack and Simon, let's break the boredom of this horrendous climb by concentrating on something more interesting. I'll tell jokes for 25 flights, and Jack can sing songs for 25 flights, and Simon can tell sad stories the rest of the way. At the 26th floor George stopped telling jokes and Jack began to sing. At the 51st floor Jack stopped singing and Simon began to tell sad stories.
'I will tell my saddest story first,' he muttered gloomily, 'I left our room key in the car.'

Whatever you are doing this weekend, take care and have fun.
__________________
Meg.